Supermodel Noemie Lenoir is recovering in hospital after an alleged suicide attempt. The 30 year old Marks & Sparks star found unconscious in a forest on the outskirts of Paris beside a pile of pills and an empty spirits bottle. Noemie, who had called an ambulance earlier in the day saying she felt “very unwell” but later cancelled it, was discovered by a man walking his dog.

There is, of course, much speculation about the reasons surrounding the alleged suicide attempt. Lenoir’s boyfriend, multi-millionaire Carl Hirschmann, 29, who dated Paris Hilton in 2003 is currently involved in a sex and extortion scandal in Switzerland. He was arrested in April for two separate offences of having sex with a minor and a third charge of forcing someone, not necessarily a minor, of committing a sex act against their will. The offences allegedly took place during orgies at a club run by him. He’s currently on £300,000 bail in Zurich, but Noemie regularly visits him there.

Lenoir has a 5 year old son Kelyan with ex-Chelsea football star Claude Makelele. How awful to think she was so low that she was willing to leave him behind. Suicide is not grand.

(L)

Let me see…you send an inexperienced model down two flights of stone steps and make her dodge giant swinging pendulums…what exactly did you think was going to happen? Why, it’s almost as if they’d planned it to make good TV or something! Seriously.

“And for your next challenge….model this alligator-skin clutch whilst walking a tightrope….Oh sorry, I said alligator-skin clutch…I meant alligator.”

My love affair with ANTM ended some time ago, despite the fact that I still watch it for the shoots. But why IN BLUE BLAZES would any self respecting youngwan go on it themselves? …Yeah, I’ve just answered my own question there haven’t I?

Tools.

(L)

Thank you Ralph Lauren, for saving our sensitive eyes the pain of looking at this model’s disgusting flab. She really ought to sort herself out, it’s not healthy. Thankfully, her client has her (podgy) back. Ralph and his fat-busters blitzed her bulge in a recent campaign and restored her to a more presentable state. Phew!!

Filippa Hamilton, who is also the face of Ralph Lauren’s ‘Romance’ perfume, was the victim of a photoshop fit. The Fashion giant is now sueing a blog for copyright infringement for posting this picture…..nothing to do with the fact that they’re pointing out that her head is wider that her waist and making a holy show of y’all and you know want to bury the photo forever?! Nah, course not.

(L)

Source

ROSIE!! Get your hand out of your pale grey pocket! And ‘Pale Grey Pocket’ is NOT a euphamism for HOOP!!! This is shocking - it looks like she is inspecting last week’s wax regrowth. 

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Many of you won’t know who a lot of these folks are so …..let’s break it doooown, lets break it dooown now, let’s break it….break it….break it…..let’s break it doooown….

Host Amanda Byrom alongside Irish TV favourite Caroline Morahan

**CLICK BELOW FOR MORE DULLNESS**

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What’s better than being Karl Lagerfeld’s love du jour? Having a succesful director husband? Two beautiful bambinos with uber-cool names such as Caspar and Clementine? Being ridikisly good looking? OR having a helicopter hangar as a walk in wardrobe…

Yes people - Claudia Schiffer has converted the helicopter hangar on her estate to a temperature controlled haven for her collections of Chanel, YSL and Givenchy. She also has a collection of Azzedine Alaia bandage dresses *swoon* that she wants to be able to pass on to her daughter. From now on you are all to address me as (B)lementine. I reckon I might just get away with it….

How jealous are you? Seriously.

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Check out Daphne Selfe! She’s 80, and only started modelling again 11 years ago, when her husband left her for that great casting call in the sky. 

She now does campaigns for Olay, Dove and D&G, earning up to £1000 a day, which is slightly more than the average pension!

What do you think of her look - would you still work in your 80’s? I think it’s all down to her long hair, it’s a mystery to me why lady folks chop their hair off as they age - do you understand that at all?

Daphne, however, thinks it’s down to : ’I think it helps that I am half-Irish and I have a strong bone structure and I’m supple.’  Excellent. I’m fully Irish so watch out in about 50 years time!!

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Erin Wasson is another one of those achingly hip models who make you want to take copious amounts of some hallucinogenic, just so you can create an alternate planet where you, too, look and dress and have as much money as this. Except drugs are bad, so feast your eyes on her lovely shoot for foam  magazine and use that decadent imagination of yours instead…

Erin recently launched her own collection for RCVA, who are another ridiculously coo-el brand, and has also got her own jewelry line. A very expensive one too. Rumi from fashiontoast is also a big fan, Rumi being one of those hip young queens of the style blogosphere, so she must know a little something about a little something. Lesson over..resume normal life. *sigh*

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*click click* “That’s it Paris, you’re a tiger!” *click click* “Give me lots of energy, that’s it brilliant.” *click* “Ok now do the pose where you look like you’re having a poo on the beach while looking for your keys in the sand! Yeah great!”

Why anyone would hire Paris Hilton to promote a sports brand is beyond me! The girl is straight-up bandy lookin’!

(L)

I have never.. NEVER ever come so close to shaving part of my sallynoggin’ as I did when I fell in stalking style love with Alice Dellal. I’m not quite sure what it is about this slightly demented looking rock n’ roll model that makes me want to throw away EVERYTHING that isn’t black in my wardrobe, (and the fact that she seems to only have one tongue-on-roof-of-mouth pose should make me not even use the term ‘model’ in that description), but I just like her style. And I needed a bit of a new fashion direction so I am ‘channellling’ her, like a good New Yorker. (Even though I am from Kilkenny…details shmetails)

Anyway, my hairdresser said no to the head shave. She said I would regret it. I slapped her around a bit, but eventually we agreed that she was right. Once she came to, she instead tightly french-plaited the side that should be shaved, and set the rest so it had lift and volume. It’s a change from the Brigitte Bardot fringe and backcombing attempt of the last couple of months, so me likes it!

Feel free to hate ALL over this look, or share the love! “Whatever” as Alice Dellal might say.

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Kate Moss’ celebrated her 35th Birthday party this weekend…all weekend. Festivities kicked off at London’s Dorchester hotel on Thursday and migrated to her North London home where she held an uber-exclusive  medieval themed get together for celebrity friends and rocker boyfriend Jamie Hince .

Rather predictably, little piggy up there wasn’t the only casualty on the night with an ambulance being called in the early hours to look after this wrecked looking chap.

The Police were also a regular presence outside the model’s door as they received a large number of complaints from Kate’s neighbours about the noise which went on until the following day.

(L)