This officially goes on the list of things that are not grand. Dawn French and Lenny Henry have decided to go their separate ways after 25 years of marriage. They released a statement to say that they’ve been broken up for the past 6 months but have remained living together “in constant, honest communication” and are still great friends. The pair, who are currently on holiday together with their adopted daughter Billie, survived an affair in 1999 when Lenny was caught throwing a bone to some blonde bird called Merri Cheyne. Of course the papers are now saying that they split because they ‘never recovered’ from that…you know because 11 extra years of marriage is not considered a recovery?!

Anyway, bummer dudes. But does anyone else have the feeling that’ll it’ll be one of those really super amicable divorces where they still appear in comedy stuff together and make open jokes about the fact that they used to be married? Hope so anyway. Either way, we wish them both well.

(L)

UPDATE **** Official statement released :

“Cheryl Cole is separating from her husband Ashley Cole. Cheryl asks the media to respect her privacy during this difficult time.

‘We have no further comment to make.”

EXCELLENCE! Of course, it’s devastating, but SO glad she’s finally dumping his sorry ass. Oooh, wonder who she’ll hook up with next..? (I know there are reports she’s with that dancer dude, but I don’t think he plays on the same team if ye git meh…) Any suggestions as to who could be Cherdyl’s perfect match?!?…(after she takes some time out for her lovely self, of course…)

(B)

**************

Cheryl TWEEDY (Ahh…that felt good) is in Hollywood this week recording some music to mime to at a later date and is also having a few ickle meeshings with lawyers of the d.i.v.o.r.c.e. kind. RESULT! Expect an official statement from her camp in the next week or so. Speaking of camp, Ashley ‘The Pr*ck’ Cole is said to be devestayra altogether about losing his wife…to the point where he’s been sobbing down the phone to one of the birds he porked behind her back…nice work. Is there no beginning to this man’s intelligence?

Now Cheryl, all that’s left to fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for is ,,,the gaf!

Bonne chance ma petite popstar!

(L)

Idiot. Vernon Kay, who is married to and has two kids with Tess Daly, has been caugh’ rapeh sending filthy texts and private twitter mails to page three girl Rhian Sugden. He pair exchanged numbers after meeting in a nightclub in their home town of Bolton. Rhian tried to flog her story to the Sun, for whom she regulalry gets her baps out, but they decreed that they were ‘too explicit to publish’. Vernon’s people have admitted that he “sent the text messages but they never at any point had a physical sexual relationship.” But would he have if the situation arose? Why did he take her number in the first place? Was this the first time something like this happened? It all begs the question; When is cheating, cheating?

• Are dirty texts cheating?
• Is kissing cheating?
• Is a secret close friendship worse/better than a traditional affair?

And could you/have you gotten over being cheated on? / Or have you ever cheated youself?

Feel free to post anonymously of course.

(L)

BB8’s Billi Bhatti has come forward to say that Jordan CHEATED on Peter Andre by indulging in an 8 month affair with the Indian twat-for-brains. What possible motivation could he have for these claims if it’s not true I hear you ask? Sure isn’t he beating off work offers with a stick and turning down magazine deals due to sheer lack of time and general deadliness?! Anyway, this ‘Affair’ worries me. Because if the relationship he had with Jordan can be described as an affair, then I’ve never been faithful to anyone! The pair met in a London nightclub in 2007 shortly after Billi left the Big Brother House. They exchanged email addresses for MSN purposes and spoke from time to time on Myspace…over an eight month period. That’s it. Billi claims that Katie got a little frisky and would send him photos…bollox-ology if I’ve ever I’ve heard it in fairness!

Billi, you’re 15 seconds of fame ended two years ago. Get over it.

(L)

This just in from the Daily Mail (so….you know…pinch of salt etc…) Bruce Springsteen has been named as the ‘OTHER MAN!!!’ in a divorce proceeding!! Even though he’s married himself! No!!! Noooo! We love Bruce and will allow ourselves to believe that he is in an open relationship with his wife and therefore not a cheating bastardo. 

Here’s all the info…NOOOOO!!!!

The Boss, who has been married to his second wife, backing singer Patti Scialfa, 53, mother of his three children, for 17 years, is accused of having numerous liaisons with a woman he allegedly met in a gym.

 

Arthur Kelly, from New Jersey, claims that his wife of 17 years, Ann, has ‘committed adultery with one Bruce Springsteen… at various times and places too numerous to mention’, according to legal documents filed in Monmouth County Superior Court.

Mortgage company manager Kelly, 45, is said to have moved out of the family home he shared with Ann, 44, and their two young daughters in West Long Branch, New Jersey.

Mr Kelly is seeking joint custody of the couple’s daughters, 13 and 10, and wants his soon-to-be ex to pay child support as well as a portion of the girls’ college education, insurance and extracurricular activities and summer camp costs.

The American rock legend is said to have met Mrs Kelly at the gym and they have become close ever since.

Springsteen, 59, has been married to his second wife, backing singer Patti Scialfa, 53, with whom he has three children, for 17 years.

They live in Rumson, New Jersey - and have a horse farm in nearby Colts Neck.

But sources told a US celebrity magazine that he and Ann - said to be a ‘gorgeous strawberry blonde who looks 20 years younger than her age’ - have been close for several months.

A source said: ‘Ann says she and Bruce are just friends. But there have been rumours going around the area for more than a year that they had become too close after meeting at a local gym.’

Mr Kelly has filed divorce papers - but has yet to serve his wife with them, it was claimed. The source added: ‘I think he still loves her.’

Mr Kelly has been unavailable for comment, but he told Star magazine, which broke the story: ‘I don’t want to comment at this time. But I do appreciate your asking me.’ His wife was also unavailable for comment. Edward Fradkin, a lawyer for Mr Kelly, did not return calls for comment.

But he told the magazine: ‘The court papers speak for themselves.’

In 1988 it was alleged that Springsteen was romancing now-wife Patti Scialfa behind the back of his then-spouse, Julianne Phillips. Julianne filed for divorce two months later.

Do you think he did it? Do you still love him?!? Should his wife leave, and most importantly… NOOOOOOOOOO!

(B)

Piers Morgan has said he doesn’t want Sir. David Beckham on the ‘Life Stories’ couch saying: “He can beg, plead, borrow and steal, but I am not having him on my show.” It came out a few weeks ago that Piers’s cousin is none other then the loose one; whilst interviewing Sharon Osbourne he asked her about her long-standing hatred of Rebbecca Loos before admitting that the two were related.
He went on to say: “I’ve never met David. But I’m not in a trance about him like everybody else. My first question would be, ‘What did you do with my cousin?’ I know more about it than he might like.”

Firstly, I wouldn’t imagine David Beckham is loosing too much sleep over it, but lets set this straight for once and for all! We know they had an affair. We realise that David is every bit, if not more, to blame for this; he is the one with the wife and kids after all. If things had ended there, the pair would have been as bad as each other, with David possibly being the villain of he piece in many people’s eyes. (Apart from a few idiots who always seem to blame the woman). BUT …did David Beckham then try to make a career out of it? Did he go to the press to rip apart a family for personal gain/money/fame? Did he then hang around appearing on whatever reality show would take him, thus forcing himself on the consciousness of that family every day of their lives for as long as he could? No, Piers, he didn’t.

But your statement got you a nice bit of publicity for your show….you clever b*st*rd!

(L)