Simon Cowell admitted publicly for the first time last night on Jay Leno that he’s enga…..engage……eng….I can’t…I just can’t do it. He’s gonna marry that lucky b*tch!!! Devestation stations!!! I genuinely believed that we would live out the rest of our days together. The story would go something like this….
(L) enters American Idol audition room - Simon looks up - Their eyes meet - She starts to sing - he tells her she’s shit - she likes this - she jumps accross the table and pounces on him - they make sweet love - Randy Jackson is all ‘Yeah Dog!’ - Paula Abdul is there but is too off her tits to know what’s going on anyway (What? In my fantasy she still works there) - They live happily ever after.
But now… nothing. My life is a blank void stretched out ahead of me, Simon-less. She doesn’t even have a real name; Mezghan? Player please.
*sob* *retch* *snot drip*