Archive for the "The Stylebitches Say" Category


I like to give a product a good loooong test before saying - yes, you may become my new product fiancé. Here is my announcement:

Following 18 months of trials, tribulations and lack of sleep, my relationship with this product has reached a level of understanding and respect that can not, must not, be ignored. I feel we are as one. Our union was probably a prophecy of Nostradamus, or at the very least, Jesus.  As I lay here listening to Celine Dion on my love mixtape made especially for my new favourite product, I was overcome with the urge to share.

So here it is ;  I’m ‘over the moon’ to offishally anonounce my face’s betrothal to Vichy’s Liftactiv foundation, number 25. (available from pharmacies.)

It has made me appear human on occassions when I should really have frightened children and old people. It’s put colour and glow on a face that unbedecked, has, I imagine, made my own mother question whether I could legitimately be her’s - as I appear to have been born before her…

Finally, it stays on all day, unlike my clothing at a festival.

Those, ladies and gentlebugs, are my reason to love this product. If YOU have a product that you can not be without, I urge you to share below… I am completely open to luring Activlift in to a false sense of security before cruelly dumping it for something that makes me look better - much like my 17 year old self with my then boyfriend.


Tattoo Fail

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in The Stylebitches Say, What's in STYLE!

(L), two of our friendlies and I were just talking about vocabulary/grammar things people say in a funny way, like ‘pacific’ instead of ’specific’…or ‘I do be..’ instead of eh…whatever it is your supposed to say…ANYWAY! moving on, how sh*t would it be to get a tattoo with a big, massive, gaping grammatical error like ‘you’re’ instead of ‘your’? Fail! That do not be grand!

Share your ‘the way you say that annoys the hell out of me‘ things in the comment section…Ah do! Be.


So, we’ve been dementedly busy! Now we’re back, let’s have a cup of tea and a catch-up! What’s been going on with you ladies and gents, any health, wealth, love or life dramas to share? Any demented nights out, family bust ups, pregnancy/engagement/wedding stories to share? Any good clothes/shoes/makeup purchases?

Do tell! 



What I WANT from Sex and the City 2. 

1. For all four ladies to stop screaming ‘Hiiiiiiii’ when they all meet up. They never did that in the series. Stop it. I don’t care if it was because Samantha was in L.A. They’re better than that. 

2. For Carrie to leave Big’s ass if he f*cks up again. I understand, the course of true love never runs smooth, but HE LEFT HER AT THE ALTAR. Then she married him because he gave her a wardrobe and a shoe. *sigh*

3. For there to be no cheating. We’ve already witnessed the miracle of Steve’s ability to score someone else, do not make us believe Harry would do the same. Big is too obvious. 

4. For Charlotte to have a story line that was not ‘comical!’ or ‘children!’ The woman has a Masters in Fine Art or something, can’t she just have an intelligent conversation somewhere along the way?

5. No ‘Love’ keyring. Or Louis Vuitton. 

6. No close ups on Miranda’s nipples. Please Jebus. Please. 

7. No mention of the ‘economic climate’. Not interested. Unless it’s Charlotte discussing it in an intelligent manner with Harry in an adult conversation that does not involve the mention of children. (see point 4.)

8. No dialogue. Just clothes. Let’s call a spade a spade. 

That’s all. Add your own in the comments section. 


Dear Kate Moss, with your face so melted,

your legs so long, your coat so belted.

Read this poem about your new line,

Not the cocaine one, the Topshop kind.

We can not deal with your perfect shoots,

to show your clothes, your belts and boots.

We know you look all hot and legendy,

because you’re well lit and super bendy.

And yes your clothes look super flattering,

but perhaps your super model-ness might matter in

the fact that crazy clothes look good on you,

with your breast-less boobs and not much food on you. 

Remember we’d like to wear them too, 

but with a bra and you know, perhaps some trousers.

Anyway back to the rhyming and the flow,

Don’t you know us girls are po’?

Don’t tease us with expensive rigouts,

when we can’t even afford Chinese takeouts. 

Unless you’d like to send us some free stuff, 

then I’ll take back the first line where I insinuate that in real life you look kind of rough. Honest. I will.

Yours sincerely,


***See the rest of the Kate Moss for Topshop A/W shoot after the jump..will you be purchaysing?**

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Be TOTALLY honest now, could you go out with a man that was much teenier than you? I’m talking Sophie Dahl/Jamie Cullum ratio here. Have you ever, would you ever, could you ever? Or maybe you gots a short man - does he sometimes feel like your kid brother? When you’re holding his hand or patting his head, do you ever feel a little….pervy? When he’s lying on you in bed and his feet are rubbing against your kneecaps - do you still want him? 

Yes - love can build a bridge, but can it build a stepladder?..Discuss! Share! Think about it!


Grrrr! (B) has a rant…

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in The Stylebitches Say, What's in STUFF!

(***Warning - Misuse of CAPS alert**)

It REALLY p*sses me off when you are in a hurry and the carpark is full and some IDIOT has parked their car so badly that it takes up two spaces. I’m not even talking about the humongous jeeps that simply don’t fit into one space, I’m talking about the absolute MORONS who can’t park between JUST TWO OF THE WHITE LINES!!! HOW DO YOU HAVE A LICENSE??!?!?!? Why did you decide to enter the space at a 23 degree angle, f*ck it up, and then decide to leave it there?!?!?Why!??! WHY!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!? It’s because you’re bad in bed, isn’t it….



Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in The Stylebitches Say, What's in STUFF!

Here are some wise-ish words what I thieved from this great blog: bellechantelle. No, they are not a damn thing to do with Oprah, but I feel a post about wise words must be somehow overlooked and represented by the Patron Saint of Very Smart Things : Lady Baroness Oprah de Winfrey. She will now preside in her glory and righteousness over anything spiritual or wise on this site. So…you won’t see too much of her. Anywho, these wordy words below are very true and wise and should definitely be among the life lessons you give to your children. Fact.

Do you have any codes of conduct or scraps of common sense you wish to share? Maybe something your granny or mammy or teacher or dad or uncle or grandad or teacher or postman always told you? Tell us!



1. Everyone is a resource, steal knowledge whenever possible.

2. Manipulation is not only an art form but an essential and invaluable life skill. Practice helps you understand the human perspective.

3. Experience as much as possible. You never know if you’ll like a finger in your ass until you try.

4. Never finish your food. Cleaning your plate is how your parents programmed you into over-eating, you chubby bastards.

5. Question everything. never stop asking why. Always question motives, cause we all have ‘em.
6. Let your guard down when you say ‘i love you’, its only fair.

7. Pay attention. Easy concept but then why do you get taken advantage of all the goddamn time? …cause you weren’t paying attention.

8. Hang out with people who you feel are morally superior than you. The better the people you hang with, the better you’ll become.

9. Trust your friends’ opinions, collectively they know you better than you know yourself.

10. It’s not a matter or perspective: the glass IS half empty, but live like its half full.
The end! Add your own! 

Prepare thyself - (B) is about to go off on a rant.

Why is it so hard to buy a dress with nice sleeves? I only own three dresses that have nice sleeves, and only one of those is an everyday dress. Why does everything have to have either stupid unflattering capped sleeves, or those 3/4 length ones that make your forearms look all meaty and farmer-y? Why do so many Summer dresses have spaghetti straps? They don’t suit anyone! Who here can wear a halterneck without looking like an Olympic weight lifter? Why can’t we bring back beautiful, flattering sleeves. Why. Why is it so hard to find NICE SLEEVES?!?!?!?!?!?!? ANSWER ME!!!! 

Above is a selection of dresses from Topshop. Finding a dress with sleeves in Topshop is like trying to find a virgin in certain parts of CarlowGlasgowBelgium...(I can’t decide who I want to offend more…)

What do YOU think about sleeves?



(B) is cross.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in The Stylebitches Say, What's in STYLE!

This really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really REALLY ANNOYS ME!!!! Why, Topshop, why should WE pay over one hundred yoyos for shoes when YOU couldn’t even be bothered to (allegedly) get some kids to colour in the FOUR sides of the heel!!!? WHY!!! I mean, come on! What are your overheads!?!??!?!? (FOTC reference no. 43) I refuse to buy shoes that are THAT cheap looking on a very noticeable (to me) place. And yes it REALLY does annoy me and YES, I WILL USE CAPS! 

Is there anything about the way clothes/shoes/etc are made in certain shops that really bothers you?


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Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in The Stylebitches Say, What's in STUFF!

Two years ago on this very sacred and holy day, ‘The Stylebitches’ were unleashed upon the unprepared and ill advised world. At this moment of great power and glory, we would like to thank everyone who allow us to still love it all. That means you! Whoever you are…

A lot has happened in two years, we have met a lot of nice people and even scored a few. But most importantly, we still have the full use of almost all of our limbs. 

So THANK YOU!!… to you lot, this lovely little Stylebitch community! Celebrate with us through the downing of something that will alter your state of consciousness, and for dessert - a batter sausage!!! Hurrah! Here’s to many more years, and an ever growing little Stylebitchland. Cheers!

(B) & (L)