Archive for the "The Stylebitches Heart" Category

..face.

I like to give a product a good loooong test before saying - yes, you may become my new product fiancé. Here is my announcement:

Following 18 months of trials, tribulations and lack of sleep, my relationship with this product has reached a level of understanding and respect that can not, must not, be ignored. I feel we are as one. Our union was probably a prophecy of Nostradamus, or at the very least, Jesus.  As I lay here listening to Celine Dion on my love mixtape made especially for my new favourite product, I was overcome with the urge to share.

So here it is ;  I’m ‘over the moon’ to offishally anonounce my face’s betrothal to Vichy’s Liftactiv foundation, number 25. (available from pharmacies.)

It has made me appear human on occassions when I should really have frightened children and old people. It’s put colour and glow on a face that unbedecked, has, I imagine, made my own mother question whether I could legitimately be her’s - as I appear to have been born before her…

Finally, it stays on all day, unlike my clothing at a festival.

Those, ladies and gentlebugs, are my reason to love this product. If YOU have a product that you can not be without, I urge you to share below… I am completely open to luring Activlift in to a false sense of security before cruelly dumping it for something that makes me look better - much like my 17 year old self with my then boyfriend.

x(B)

Angelina Jolie is working the HELL out of this dress, on the set of her movie ‘The Tourist’ - she looks all kinds of the elegance. Now pyjama wearing heads - we’re not saying you have to wear your debs dress around the place every day, but isn’t a little glam-ir nice? Doing your hair pretty? Maybe put a pretty dress on? Maybe don’t wear your pretty pyjamas out to piss off the pretty public? Just a thought. 

I’ve always thought that the mod-hern movie stars weren’t a patch on the starlets of fadó fadó like Brigitte Bardot, Raquel Welch and Elizabeth Taylor  but Angelina is raising the game entirely. Everyone else follow suit! Now! Please me!

(B)

Oh yes. yes. Yes.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in The Stylebitches Heart, What's in STUFF!
22
Apr

Back in the bebo days (is bebo actually shutting down or what?!?) we kidnapped Jake Gylenhaal and kept him locked in our special sexy times dungeon. Long story. And somewhat inappropriate. 

You know what isn’t inappropriate? These photos. These photos are very appropriate. I would like to appropriate all over these photos while appropriating all kinds of appropriate things and thinking about the way I would appropriate his appropriateness. I really hope I’ve spelled appropriate right or there’s going to be a whole lot of copying and pasting in about ten minutes. 

English lesson for the day - do you write/say ‘I learned’ or ‘I learnt’, and ‘I spelled’ or ‘I spelt’.

That’s all for now.

(B)

 

Ah….Stuart….

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in The Stylebitches Heart, What's in GOSSIP!
8
Jul

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate Charlize Theron’s bit of fluff, Stuart Townsend, running about all half naked and tanned and lovely. I know I did a post on Jared Leto yesterday so it may appear I am in some sort of man needing frenzy. I am not - but a girl can still have her moments of needless entertainment and viewing pleasure.

Can I get an Amen?

(B)

Thank Jebus!

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in The Stylebitches Heart, What's in GOSSIP!
7
Jul

I have the box set of ‘My So Called Life’…mostly I watch it as a sort of substitute for porn - reason:  Jared Leto….mmmmmmmm…then he became a COMPLETE d*ck and went all emo and tryhard on us, complét with eye liner and idiotic hair and straggly bits of raggy clothing that ONLY look good on Johnny Depp. 

BUT! Shazam, someone got at him, as he has cleaned himself right up and is back to hot-ass ridiness, as evident in exhibit !, above right. No doubt he is still so far up his own cajooley that there is no room for anyone in his life unless she is made of mirror, but this pleases me nonetheless. 

Share your TV man crush with up peoples!

(B)

Rate or Slate Jared Leto!

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Doncha just love this? It’s by a photographer called Tricia Mary. She explains it as such: “Kyle’s hands held in love by his parents’ hands - a true blend of love and hope for the future.”

Ahh! Check out the rest of her stuff here.

(L)

Jennifer Aniston is a bit of a ledge-pants in my eyes. Despite not being the type of celeb who courts the press, her entire private life has been dragged through the mud for the last ten years and she’s handled it with nothing but dignity and grace. This weekend she poked fun at her personal life when recieving a ‘Women In Film Crystal Award’ in LA.

“I’m trying to be more careful than I have been in the past about the titles of movies that I choose to be in. It’s funny – I kind of noticed something a couple years ago that there seemed to be this strange parallel to the movies I was doing and my life off screen. So if any of you have a project titled Everlasting Love With An Adult, Stable Male, that would be great! I’m at table six, and my agents are at table 12.”

She’s fabiola!

(L)

A musician called Darren Solomon has created wonderfully collaborative internet based music project featuring submitted YouTube clips of people grabbing whatever instrument they have, from guitars to trumpets to Nintendos or their voices to express a melody in B flat. He then places them together like a mosaic of music and allows you, the viewer, to play them as you wish. 

Create your symphony here. Try it, it rocks my socks!

(L)

Source

I need these Prada platforms. I need them. I yearn for them. My wardrobe weeps for them. I am taken to write a poem of sorts! 

A Poem of Sorts to Prada.

I’m not a freak, Prada shoes,

But is it so wrong that I want to sexy time you? 

Just come over and tie me up,  

Bring a camera, bring one cup,

We’ll get our freak on with some Anti-Freeze

Like wierdos you see on documentaries.

Then when we’re done and we’ve had a smoke,

I’ll put you on with my Custo coat.

I’ll saunter outside to gloat and mock,

The boring ones who’s shoes don’t rock

And when I take you home again

You’ll resume your role as my shoe sex friend.

The End.

(B)

*finger clicks and snaps*

 

An Ode to Marc Jacobs

Oh Marc Jacobs with your body so fine

Why must you sip from the gayness wine?

Can’t you relinquish your inherent gay pride,

And come to Ireland to give me the ride?

I’ll wear y-fronts and a George Clooney mask, 

And do any kind of unwomanly shizzle you ask. 

Just say you’ll turn for one night only,

And I will make you my sweet love pony.

Yours forever in lust, (B).

By Sandy Dee…

Shall i compare thee to a summers day?

thou body more rippling for I to lay.

i’d let u rear end me on buds of may,

so afterwards i cud hear u say..

have my fall line, summer line too..

iIll throw in some glasses and some shoes for you..

this relationship would please us both,

so Marc you’ve pulled grab your coat.

A long time ago in forum bethlehem, a completely random conversation went totally off point. We chose to blame Lisa Hannigan for this and many other crimes, as it was her wot the conversation woz about initially. (read it here > click me!<)

Now it has evolved - examples:

Your ladygarden may be referred to as your ‘hannigan’.
e.g (in Athlone accent>) “…he fills my hannigan better than you AND he kisses my back better too.”

Being ridiculously drunk and/or hungover may be referred to as ‘hanniganed’
e.g “…I was so hanniganed last night that I slept with my first cousin.”.”

A bit of thievery can also be referred to as ‘hanniganed’..
e.g “..I was in Carlow/Limerick/Belgium last night and don’t you know my wallet was Hanniganed”

Getting your rocks can be ‘getting your Hannigan’, or even getting a ‘Hann Job’. Someone playing a joke on you can be you getting ‘hanniganed’. if you hear an odd sound late at night downstairs, you can  say ‘Oh it must be Lisa Hannigan’ and go right back asleepies. 

In fact there are many uses - can you think of any more? Share! Don’t Hannigan the usage! Oh and maybe show it in a sentence too?

(B)

(Thanks to Blue Steel for the image! You leg-end! You should get the hannigan hanniganed off you for being such a ledge.)

(B)’s BEST DRESSED

There are many contenders for the best dressed this week - so I’ve chosen 3 - Camilla Alves above, and Giovanna Battaglia, bottom left, and some randomer at Coachella, bottom right. I think all three look very relaxed in their homeless, mish mashed little ways, and this pleases me. I also have the shorts and jacket of Giovanna’s trousers, (not to be worn together OB-viously) and am now disgusted I didn’t buy the trousers. They’re from Top-a-da-Shop.

WORST DRESSED 

On to my worst dressed, and it has to Bianca Gascoine at the ‘State of Play’ premiere. She was on the Red Carpet at the same time as Helen Mirren in THAT dress. Let’s all take a moment to think about that..

In conclusion - Bianca… Jay-zis….. You look like you bring a buggy shopping so you can stuff it with stolen goods…in fact, you look like your fella likes riding HIPPOS!!! Did you,in fact, buy that dress in Athlone? 

Did YOU have a best or worst dressed this week? Do you agree or disagree with my choices? Share! Discuss! Type!

(B)

 

(B) hearts Bombay Mix

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in The Stylebitches Heart, What's in STUFF!
23
Apr

It’s a sickness. I am currently mushing this up and cooking it in some tinfoil over a bic lighter so I can pour it directly into a syringe to inject myself in my only non-bombayed vein. I’m addicted. Not the peanuts though. 

What are you currently addicted to, food-wise?

(B)

If any of your were wondering what to buy me for my Happy Day after Holy Monday present (Holy Tuesday?…who knows) I’ll help you out! I’ll have one of these Roberto Cavalli Gazare guna’s please. They’re only €4k. I’m not really a Roberto Cavalli bird, I was brought up better than that, but this…I like!

***CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST***

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Right, that’s it. As some of you know from the forum, I’ve had a style fit. I have filled three huge bin bags full of clothes and bags that no longer please me. I have also roped in my Mam and sister and they are on four bags and counting. I have booked a stall at the Laughing Buddha’s flea market in Billy Byrne’s (it’s on John Street, KK) this Sunday, and we are selling it all for €2/€5 each. If you’re nearby come take some of this stuff off my hands!!!

I HEARTILY recommend you do the same with your overflowing wardrobe at any flea market going… and anything that’s left at the end of the day’s trade could be donated to the charity shop, along with any money you make if you’re so inclined, OR you could take that money to H&M and start all ooover agaiiiin! Nothing beats the feel of a freshly organised wardrobe! (Except the feel of maybe…6 numbers in the Euromillions…or Obama stroking your hand and saying - ‘you know you’re the Monica for me baby.’)

If you’re near Kilkenny and can get your sh*t together, you could still book a space to sell stuff if you like… Info: <click here!>

Have you ever sold stuff at a car boot sale or flea market before? Would you? Also - do you have a routine for clearing out your clothes… that WORKS?!?

(B)