Archive for the "What's in GOSSIP!" Category

Half Past Seven Beckham

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
11
Jul

So the Beckhams have called their new baba gurl ‘Harper Seven Beckham’. Bless them, they’re not the brightest. Somebody should tell them it’s number FOUR! You have FOUR children. Those other children are only DOLLS, David! They’re NOT REAL!! …Thank God he’s so pretty.

Can’t imagine where else they might have got the number Seven… imaginative/cruel stuff right there. Now Harper, I can live with. Harper Beckham…yeah…nice! But Harper Seven, as B pointed out this morning, sounds like ‘Half past Seven’. Although with their penchant for naming children after the conditions in which they were concieved, maybe there’s something in that…?

Anyway, Howeye Harper Seven! Welcome along.

(L)

Cher Lloyd’s debut single has mysteriously leaked all over t’internet. ‘Swagger Jagger’ is due for release this August but you can have a listen here amongst other places. The cynic in me doubts how accidental all of this is, but Cher does seem pretty miffed about it. In the last hour she has tweeted:

“I’ve never been this upset ever!”

“i worked so hard, and people wanna ruin it for me, if you wanted to hurt me you’ve done a great job”

“please don’t do this to me. i wish i was at home with my family, i’ve been through enough this year”

Hmmmm….. Publicity plan? Ragin’ for her if it’s not.

Anyway, whatcha reckon?

What makes you of Cher Lloyd's 'Swagger Jagger'?

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(L)

S Club 75

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
30
Mar

I was tempted to just post the picture and say nothing to frighten the bejeezus out of y’all. But I thought I better come clean; they’re not getting back together. They just went to John’s new show together to support him. Ahh! …sad face. (No, not really. What do you take me for?…yeah OK I like Justin Bieber, whatever)

Anyway…let’s survey the damage. And by ‘the damage’ I obviously mean Paul. Time has been a cruel master to our Paul. But at least he still has all of that hair. That’s good…right? As for Jo, or ‘Mum’ as the rest of the band call her, at least she has a smile on her mush for once.

Is it just me who finds this incredibly depressing? I used to think I still had it and was down with the cool kids and their funky grooves maaaan. But now I just think, that’s you L. There you are now.

*sob*

(L)

Amy Adams will play Lois Lane

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in Watch This!, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
28
Mar

It has been announced that Amy Adams will play Lois Lane in the new Superman movie; Man of Steel. Rumours have been rife for the past few months about who would land the coveted part. I really thought I’d get it…dammit! Henry Cavill is already confirmed to play Superman…Are you well, Henry? Coz you’re lookin’ well! But all of this is overshadowed for me, by the fact that Kevin RIDEFACE Costner is playing his Dad…HOWEYE KEVIN!!

(L)

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Anyone watch Comic Relief last night? Sobfest 2011 raised a whopping SEVENTY FOUR MILLION England monies. By my calculations that’s just over €20! (Give or take, I’ve rounded it off) Highlights for me were…

 - Adele, who was whopper as usual.

 - Lenny Henry accidentally saying “F*ck” and then saying “I can’t believe I said ‘F*ck on BBC2″.

 - The Inbetweeners boys visiting places with rude names. I really want to move to Bell End. It sounds like tremendous fun.

 - And who could forget the return of Smithy, who saves Comic Relief whilst George Michael waits in the car. I won’t say anything else or it will ruin the surprise appearances but I think you’ll know who nearly made me pee with excitement.

Well done the Beeb!

(L)

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New Britney video/Sony advert.

Whatcha fink?

Well?

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(L)

Spencer vs Cam’ron

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in What's in GOSSIP!
2
Feb

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Spencer Pratt has a new video out, which is ironically about going to work. Because we all know how hard Spencer works. Is mental abuse a job now? He’s really good at that - in fact, I consider him the CEO.

Anyway, me being a big fan of Cam’ron, I couldn’t help but notice some kind of similarity between Spencer’s choon and Cam’ron’s ‘Oh Boy.’ (below) Now I could be completely wrong, so take a likkle listen and see if you agree? Also I don’t completely hate Spencer’s song, but I also do dislike it somewhat. Indeed.

x(B)

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Oh no they didn’t!

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
27
Jan

The good people at Harps decided that one of their ‘family shields’ was the way forward after some neanderthals complained about the current US Weekly cover featuring Elton John, David Furnish and their new babie.

A word from Harps Corporate Executive Assistant Marty Yarborough….

“Every Harps store is equipped with shields. They get put up whenever customers complain about the content of a magazine cover. Several customers had complained about this particular cover. The usage of the shield on this particular cover is in no way our opinion on this issue. We do not have an opinion on this issue.”

Now to quote Pretty Woman:

“Big mistake. Big! …Huge!”

(L)

(B)’s Golden Globes Hell No Dresses

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in What's in GOSSIP!
17
Jan

Cath-er-un-ze-tu-jo-ens : I may be massacred for disliking this, but I’ve never been afraid to be massacred. I was massacred once before and sure I’m grand now. (I may have a loose grip on my understanding of the word ‘massacre’ but I’m pretty sure it means ‘being given out to..’) Anyways, I can not love a dress that looks like a mass of rocks covered in fresh moss after a spring rain shower. I am very glad her husband is better though, and she does look pretty. But this is about the dress, and I say no. No to dresses that look like freshly cut grass. Or a mountain range on the Sims. No I say. And I mean it. No to horticultural dresses.

Christina Hendricks : Let’s all preteeend we caaan’t seee her expression. Bad shot, unfair, sex doll, say no more. Okay - the dress shape - wow. The lady bits trying to eat her face? Not so much.

Kelly Brook : No nonononononononononono no. No.

JLo at the after part-ay. - Top half - lovely! Bottom half - homage to the third character in the new movie ‘Black Swan’ - Peach Swan. No.

Elizabeth Moss - This dress appears to accentuate her shoulders and as the owner of broad shoulders myself, allow me to say it needed straps/sleeves of some kind in my humble shouldered opinion.

Natalie Portman - I love that she’s knocked up but it’s no excuse for this. Pregnant ladies have worn dresses four million times nicer than this, which appears to be a scrap of pink satin tied with a gypsy rose.

Paris Hilton : Ah just go home.

Megan Fox : Share Paris’ cab to ‘I’m-so-sexy-town’ and have a great night together.

Jennifer Love Hewitt : You know what, it’s not a horrendous dress, it’s just  more suited to an MGM musical from 1948 or something.

Christina Aguilera : I have given up all hope.

Michelle Williams : I adore Michelle. She is so elegant in a cute way. This dress tried to be the same, but ended up looking like some sort of Drew Barrymore attempt from the 90s.

Halle Berry : Underwear accompanied by silk scarf does not a gown make.

Yer one from Glee : I quite like the colour but there’s around 450 metres too much fabric.

Heidi Klum : If Warehouse Made Red Carpet Dresses.

That is all - how do YOU feel about it?

(B)

(B)’s Golden Globes Rates & Mebbes!

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in What's in GOSSIP!
17
Jan

Golden Globes time! Below are the dresses I liked and also was unsure about, with the loads of slated ones to follow next - and includes some thoughts of the thinking kind about the dresses and various accessories and suchlike found on heretofore aforementioned red carpet of those globe awardy thingys.

Please add your own thoughts and agree/disagree remarks in the comments section where it is fun to comment.

LET US BEGIN!

THE YES YES YESESSSS!

Scarlett Johansessonesahensnason :  beautiful, stunning, muy eleganto. TAKE THAT Ryan Reynolds.

Sandra Bullock : Okay so she’s NOT having a durty affair with Ryan Reynolds which removes all doubt in my mind that she’s awesome and her dress is amazing, her fringe is a teensy bit too long and the bag is too dark. But still - love.

JLo - Your hair is too tight love. But yes to the rest. Very pretty. Oh wait, no to the bag.

Anne Hathaway :  BAM! I usually am all a bit meh about Anne, but that dress is undeniable!

Sofai Vergara from Modern Family - I think she just learned us on how to wear colour. Shazam.

THE MEBBES

Eva Longoria - I adore the back, and while subdued is a good and unusual look on Eva, it is, as a dress, somewhat boring.

Leighton Meestor : It is quite reminiscent of a duvet cover Ikea had on special offer recently.  But there is something about it I enjoy. I would have preferred a little blingage around the waistband area.

Mila Kunis - this girl is a RIDE in the Black Swan movie, and the shape and ddetail on this dress is fantastic. I imagine, in real life, the colour was astounding, but I can not seem to love it entirely. She’s still a beaut though.

Kyra Sedgwick : Pretty jewellery! Great shape! Peculiar colour.

Angelina Jolie : I like when she wears a bit of colour, and this cut is magnificent on her bod-ay, but this particular colour and the somewhat cheap style of the fabric restores my faith in the fact the Jebus he giveth, Jebus he taketh away.

Mandy Moore : I HATE blue dresses. The only explanation I have for this is that my school uniform was exactly this colour blue and therefore I can not love it on anything else except some form of currency. This shape is flattering,and interesting. But oooh…I’m on the fence.

I won’t however, be on the fence in the next post, which are the ones I dislike quite a lot indeed.

Agree/disagree so far…? Best dressed so far?

(B)

Viktoribob Beckidybob is knockedy up.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!
10
Jan

Apologies for the very long absence from the blog - we have both been rather distracted by other things…but very happy to know we were missed! Ah you guuuuuuys!!! xxx

Okay so let’s get started with the BIG news Victoria Beckham has got all pregnantaroonies! Hurrah! I’m oddly delighted with this news - I’m intrigued as to what another of their sprogs will look like as the other three are all so different looking - AND more so - what the hell will they call it! I mean, how do you follow Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz?

Name guess time! I’m thinking Luna for a girl and eh….Ramsay or Galaxy (after Becks’ LA team..) for a boy.

What do you lot think? Prizes for the winner! And you know what that means…Yes. We won’t steal your new Christmas puppy if you get it right! The rest of you…well…

Oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! and we hope you had a LOVELY CHRISTMAAAAS!

x(B)

Noooooo!

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Hook Ups, What's in GOSSIP!
2
Dec

No nononononononononononononononono - Taylor Swift and Jake Gylenlenanenhanehanhaal?!? Rumours have been circulating, but now…now…the proof.

NO! No no - I won’t have it. I was okay-ish with the mature but still cute situation of Reese Witherspoon, but the CHILD that is Taylor Swift?!? NO! KANYE WEST - YOU BETTER TYPE UP SOME CAPS TYLE SHIZZLE ABOUT THIS! YOU BETTER COME BACK AND FINISH THE JOB YOU STARTED ON THAT MTV AWARD STAGE ALL THOSE MONTHS AGO. I’m demanding some sort of reparation here people! Give Taylor Swift to the IMF! Ollie Ren might need a new wife! I don’t know - SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!!

(B)

Ah here now!

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Under the Knife, What's in GOSSIP!
2
Dec

For a minute there the other day I thought to myself - y’know (B) you’re getting on in days now, maybe it’s time to go to a clinic and get some of that stuff injected in to your face and some of it peeled off etc.

Then I saw this photo of madonna, and am now considering making the above an official charidee. The JSNFWYG campaign. Just say NO to f*ckin wit yo grill. It may seem like a good idea right now - but what if you can’t stop and you end up with a face that resembles that lady in France who had a face transplant after her dog chewed off her visage. Not saying Madonna’s not looking well for her age, but she looked so much better when she was au naturale.

What do you think - would you ever go under the knife/injection?

(B)

Everything’s cheaper in Russia

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
2
Dec

You’re right - it’s not real. You can’t really hire Girls Aloud from this Moscow Escort Agency. I know this because at least one of them doesn’t need the money. The girl’s are said to be “laughing it off”. I have a feeling the record company won’t be quite as lenient.

(L)

Eva Longoria No Longer Parker

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in Break Ups, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
17
Nov

There’s something very ‘Hollywood’ about a triple-barreled name; Eva Longoria Parker…Sarah Jessica Parker…Sarah Michelle Gellar…Freddie Prince Junior… Now that Eva Longoria’s divorcing Tony Parker she will be about 33% less A-list. Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Basketball star here was scoring three pointers into somebody else’s net (sorry) so it gotsta go. But I have compiled a short list of alternatives:

  1. Eva Longoria Murphy (The Irish option)
  2. Eva Longoria Shmoria (aren’t rhyming names jaunty?)
  3. Eva Longoria Longoria? (Easy to remember)
  4. Eva Longoria McDonalds (I figure she could sell her third name as adspace)
  5. Eva Longoria CheatingbastardParker (My personal fave)

    Eva if you’re reading this, and I know you are, please tick the appropriate box and I will have the paperwork drawn up.

    Chop chop, time is money.

    (L)