Archive for the "OMFG!" Category

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I am shocked and aghast! Turns out, Rebecca Black was but a charlatan! The true queen of tweeny parent-paid-for pop is surely Jenna Rose? ‘My Jeans’ was around a long time before ‘Friday‘. Like OMG Rebecca! You’re like totes jockin’ Jenna’s swagger! Ridic!… Jenna is already on her second “song”. Here she brings us the musical stylings of ‘O.M.G.’ and a little pre-teen-peedo-porn video to go with it. Ahh how cute…

OMG is right love!

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(L)

Oh no they didn’t!

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
27
Jan

The good people at Harps decided that one of their ‘family shields’ was the way forward after some neanderthals complained about the current US Weekly cover featuring Elton John, David Furnish and their new babie.

A word from Harps Corporate Executive Assistant Marty Yarborough….

“Every Harps store is equipped with shields. They get put up whenever customers complain about the content of a magazine cover. Several customers had complained about this particular cover. The usage of the shield on this particular cover is in no way our opinion on this issue. We do not have an opinion on this issue.”

Now to quote Pretty Woman:

“Big mistake. Big! …Huge!”

(L)

Inception Cat.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in OMFG!, Watch This!, What's in STUFF!
8
Sep

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Just watch it…scary creepy cat. 

Like all cats really. I read a postcard somewhere that said ‘Dogs have owners, cats have staff.’ That’s creepy - that a cat can basically make a human being pander to it’s every need. We ALL know someone who is stupid about their cat. Think about it - it’s weird and evil. That’s all I have to say about that. I may have some sort of cat-fearing extended EP hangover situation though. 

(B)

Mel Gibson’s calls…

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Listen to this!, OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!
15
Jul

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You’ve probably heard these by now - but just in case! Here’s Mel and his many INSANE!! phone calls. Some people are saying that these are totally set up, that her responses are not natural and dubbed in afterwards blah blah blah….Meh - I dunno.

His breathing thing halfway through some of the calls freaks me the hell out. It’s not in any way natural, it’s totally bizarre. It’s like he’s playing ‘angry angry’ actor and heavy breathing shows ‘the anger’ or something weird and arty and odd like that. In fact - all of his rants are a bit ‘trying out for a part’ to me. I think the boy has lost his ever-lubbin mind.

Hear the rest of them after the jump!

(B)

Read the rest of this entry »

Lindsay’s going to jail!

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!
7
Jul

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I don’t know why she’s crying - you can alleged get the drugs of your alleged choice in there too. And can I just say - her sob story is all about her….no mention of the fact that she could have killed someone else when drink driving. That’s kind of the lesson to really learn….in my humble opinion anyway.

(B)

Classy guy.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Break Ups, OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!
2
Jul

Listen, I just can’t be dealing with Mel Gibson in general. In every movie he’s in, he does this stupid ‘I’m confused!’ or ’shocked!’ face, mutter and stutter before he speaks. Don’t know what I mean? Just watch ‘What Women Want’ and you’ll see it in FULL FORCE. 

I think we all know at ths stage that he left his wife for this Oksana one. They had a baby. Now they’ve broken up. He filed a restraining order, so did she, I don’t care who did it first - it wasn’t that interesting. 

BUT NOW IT IS!!! Oksana has apparently leaked secret recordings of Mel going spare at her over the phone, and they will undoubtedly ruin his face twitchy career. Here’s what he allegedly had to say : 

“You’re an embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.

“How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so fucking nice.”

“I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first.”

“Look what you did to me… look what you are… look what every part of you is… fucking fake… fucking fake. You are the most synthetic person… who the fuck are you?”

Oh man he did not bring the N word! Or the fact that how you dress would determine if you were raped or not. But the BEST - the very, very best is : ”I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first.” 

Wow. Mel, SUCH a charmer.

(B)

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***UPDATE***

He’s dead! :( They don’t know why exactly but lets face it, dude had two heads, he wasn’t exactly in the finest of health.

Ahhh….that sucks muchly.

(L)

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Feck it! Lets continue the .com theme! OMG.com/this is amazing! A little kitty catty born with TWO FACES!!!

Weird.net/stillcutethough!

(L)

GET THIS MAN TO MACDONALDS!!

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
28
May

Fiddy Cent has only gone and lost FOUR STONE for a movie role and seriously looks like he could do with a roll! A breakfast one, with extra white pudding and a fried egg. In ‘Things Fall Apart’ he plays an American Football star battling cancer. (Sorry Fiddy, but it sounds about seventeen kinds of shit.) He really does look very unwell though, right?! Are these stars nuts for risking their health going up and down in weight for movies? Dude spent three hours a day on a threadmill and ate practically nothing!!

“I lost 54lb for it. I was starving. I’ve been eating. I’ll be back in shape in no time”

All part of the art and all that jazz I know, but Jayzus!!

Step away from the ‘ethernet’

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!
11
May

Courtney Love should not be allowed near the ethernet, as she calls it.. When myself and Nick Clegg become rulers of the free world, I’m going to make that one of my ‘you ain’t free b*tch’ rules. After she saw a photo of her daughter with Kurt Cobain, Frances Bean Cobain holding hands with a boy at Coachella (above right), Courtney took to twitter to have a good old rant. I’d like to take a moment to thank Jebus for my own lovely mammy, and her inability to use twitter. 

Read aaaaaaalllll the tweets below…

(B)

 


last of my twitter relapse, bean i saw you at coachella with isaihia in a pic he looks sweet and like your dad actually.hope alls well

i hope he takes care of you and you look beuatiful even thoiugh you have an angry furrow i think thats called your “lawyer lie” furrow!

sorry to state this publically but i wont stand accused of such implications or tolerate making 3 on worst mothers list. thanks to this, no.

i love you and i will fight for you i though if i bore up and was sxtrong for six mos youd get over it but obviously its just inflamed you,

the last thing i lpok forewArd to in this life is any trial but im a good mother and i wont allow you to believe such nonsense so suit up.

lets try and use judy so i dont have to fucking go on TWITTER. i dont even use this thing and im sure this will be in some bs news feed

i love you soprry to take to the world wide ethernet but i love you and i dont know how to tell you without telling one of the pack , madly.

i really hope that boy is as nice as his sweet face, cos iff not ill get him, your just like me in almost every way and i know you hate it,

theres plenty of fish in the sea lining up for both of us who will treat us like princesses& not like 2nd class citizens, or damaged goods

if he cant suit up and have a balanced perspective and if hes just blindly being a beta male , ick if hes an alpha and hes treating you bad

i will give him one of my very special looks reserved for those whose blood needs to turn to ice, even i have a breaking point and i walk.

and i give the look before i walk they never see it coming, they think im so vulnerable because i am and then after treating me like shitBAM

i know you have that in you, if hes not treating you like the Goddess you are baby , get the hell out, do not settle. do NOT settle.

give them a little time and if they dont man up then woman out, thats my advice to you and dont date a slave, or an assnt, thats no fun

you asked me if i was being “treated well” i cant say on twitter, im sad i said anything but trusting 18 year olds to translate is nightmare

so cryptically between us ill tell you on the fb page since you care, im not an enabler & im not enabled, so thats all, its never my frame.

when its not your frame it sucks, i have as you can imagine vast vast abandonement issues wich make me weaker than normal.

i wish i was stronger and i am getting my strength together to cut anything beneath me. if its not worthy of me i will cut. ok?Nuff said.

but because of this nonsense and then my archetype and job and “batshitness” im always the bad one, as usual, always the street girl.

like a backstreet girl, and sometimes like a bitch, and its not allowed anymore, i have summed up the courage to just go if that goes on.

with any man ever, again, youve seen it done to me before seen someones try to acquitre me like apiece of art or tame me like a puppy.

i know what kind of boy youve always liked, and im afraid of you falling into the trap of simply being worshipped and not having an equal.

how shallow is he? how much is about you making him cool? NOTHING? awesome! dont buy yourself jewelry EVER. ive told you that.

dont get him presents and dont vye for him, dont overtext( im very guilty of that one i think its a letter and its NOT they hate it) allofem

you shouldnt have to vye for him, dont dont dont stay with him if hes a beta, you need to be challenged, kept in line just a little.

and again im extremely sorry to use TWITTER but i saw you holding hands in Coachella wich was coach HELLA for me, and my stomach turned.

i know you are mad at me for not marrying e. but he never made me laugh.maqke sure you laugh alot, and try to have a spiritual connection !

your relationships should not be abput getting “saved” they should be as strong and secure as your relationship to yourself. love yourself 1

autonomy . carrie once said when you were just 4 youd be like me looking for the big hug, BE THE MAN YOU WANT TO MARRY! BE IT!

i pray everyday you will chant again, & find your way back to the law of cause & affect and be wise enough to see our karma &transform it

so at the very least please clear my name i dont think you . i know you dont want other people to think things that arent true.

again my deepest apologies for using twitter for fucks sake, i dont even use it anymore but i cannot trust 18 year olds to be accurate w you

dont take any shit from that boy, and dont have an assnt as a bf, have a peer, if hes not a prince and a MAN he doesnt deserve you, period.

and if as a MAN he doesnt treat you like the GOddess you ARE. cut it, lastly i miss you more than anyone has ever missed anyone.so much.

im going to chant now ill pribably delete half of these but the boy stuff you need to hear only from me, wendy is too boycrazy.

Mother of god…

WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??!!

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
22
Apr

MAJOR RANT ALERT!

What THE F*CK is wrong with people?? Since when did we forgive Chris Brown? Since when was it cool to start playing his songs on the radio/in clubs again? Since when was it OK to buy a ticket to see him in concert in Dublin??? Every time I turn on the radio there’s some sell-out station advertising tickets and promoting the event like it’s a good thing?! And if I hear one more gushing idiot going on about how much they worship him I’ll actually scream! It’s like they think it’s a bit cool and edgy to love Chris Brown because it’s somewhat controversial. Seriously…WTF?!

This is not a Michael Jackson ‘Did he?/Didn’t he?’ situation. This man is a convicted woman beater! If a man brutally beat up your SISTER / MOTHER / AUNT / BEST FRIEND would you forgive him a year later and support his business? Of course you wouldn’t! Why is this man any exception? Because he’s supposedly so “hot”??!!….GET A BRAIN!!!! He pummeled her face until she bled! He bit her until she bled. He pulled her hair until she bled!

I’m fully aware of the dangers of sounding like a sanctimonious git right now, but what kind of message is all of this sending?? Even leaving aside the damage promoting a man like this is causing, surely the simple fact is that he was bad and does not deserve to be glorified?! Why is this not obvious? Please somebody tell me, because I don’t understand. Half-baked notions of forgiveness and rehabilitation are beyond laughable to me. It happened LAST YEAR!

I’m so angry about this. PLEASE people, cop the f*ck on!!!

Will you support Chris Brown?

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(L)

Actual.Real.Ad.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!
26
Mar

Octomom was about to be booted out of her gaff for not paying her rent. Presumably she needed the monies for food for her fourtenn children. Anywho, when this was announced, PETA came to her rescue. They are now paying her $5,000 dollahs to front their ‘Spay or Neuter your pet’ campaign. 

Wow. I actually have no words - there’s something kind of wrong, but I can’t quite put my finger on it….oh yeah. It involves PETA.

(B)

Ash-hole.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!
15
Feb

**UPDATE**

Uh-oh…

 http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2855371/Ashley-Cole-cheated-on-wife-Cheryl-with-sex-text-girl.html

 …poor Cherdyl.

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Men can remain in denial about a few things - allow me to clear some of those things up:

1. Cheating is not okay. Even if we say we forgive you, we never actually forgive you. In fact, we’ll let it fester and probably end up hating you, your friends, your family and everything about you.

2. No matter how many times you tell us we’re prettier/nicer/better than the girl you slept with, we will never truly believe that. You may think it was a ’silly mistake’, but we’ll be the ones who will hurt. A lot. 

You would think these would be basic things, things every guy should know. But oh no : Exhibit A : Ashley Cole. He gets caught cheating, gets forgiven, and lo and behold, it turns out in the timeframe when his wife was forgiving him, he was texting nudey pictures of himself to TWO blondies, according to today’s Sun newspaper.  

He tried to deny and say he had a pay-as-you-go phone (yeah. okay. You’re on what..? 80k a week?) which he had given to a friend, who had given it to another friend who had then text the photos which were taken for ‘fun’ to these girls. 

Riiight. Cheryl has yet to comment, but the pair were photographed leaving hospital following Ashley’s ankel operation, with Cerdyl looking pretty glum. I have a better idea of the type of operation Ashley needs, and it doesn’t require anaesthetic…

So what do you think peoples? Is it time for Cheryl to move on..? Or fight for this love? (I apologise)

(B)

 

John’s in twubble.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!
12
Feb

Wow…WOW!. You know that feeling when you’re introduced to someone, and you try to be pleasant but instead the stupidest collection of words comes out of your mouth. Like, they’ll say ‘nice to meet you - gosh the weather is terrible, isn’t it?’ and you say ‘yeah, I hate the rain, one time it was raining and my dog tried to f*ck this old leper!’ …then they just stare at you before pretending that someone is calling them from across the room.

 John Mayer is the new crowned king of this - just READ his interview with Playboy… wow. just wow. 

(B)

When asked if black women try to get with him, John answered“I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

Which black women he thinks are hot“I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, ‘Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.’ And you’d be like, ‘What? We weren’t talking about that.’

And about that “hood pass,” John explained it like this: “Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?’ And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’

What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.“ 

John on Jessica being his drug: “And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just fucking snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.‘”

John on Jennifer Aniston dumping his ass because he is a Tweet-ker: “There was a rumor that I’d been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn’t it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, ‘These are the new rules.‘”

John on how many girls he’s screwed since Aniston“I’m going to say four or five. No more. But even if I said 12, that’s a reasonable number. So is 15. Here’s the thing: I get less ass now than I did when I was in a localband. Because now I don’t like jumping through hoops.

John on how he’s upping his famewhore game in 2010: “From now on I’m just going to pretend that people really dig the shit out of me. I’ve been trying to prove to people I’m not a douche bag by not dating, by keeping my name out of Us Weekly. That’s fucked up, man. I’m not dating. I’m not even fucking. So now I’m going to experiment with ‘fuck you.’ In 2010 my goal is to get more mentions in Us Weekly than ever.”

Peter goes mental

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in OMFG!, What's in GOSSIP!
10
Feb

Uh oh uh oh uh oh oh no no no. Peter Andre is going looperdy over a photo of his daughter Princess being posted on Facebook, in which she is wearing lip gloss, eye shadow and false eyelashes. We should say that the facebook page is that of Jordan, which makes it a tad less weird but still…

Andre, 36, was said to be fuming/raging/crying/but all for the love of his chii-dren and only if there’s a camera there at his ex-wife’s latest stunt, which is reported to be part of Jordan’s forthcoming television show What Katie Did Next.

A spokesperson for singer Andre told The Daily Star: ‘Peter totally disagrees with anything like this.He has said in the past he hates Kate colouring Junior’s hair and straightening Princess’s.’

What do you think? Too much or harmless?

(B)

Read more: DAily Mail

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Oh. Dear. God. What has she DONE???!!!! And she’s still only 23! Seriously, Pete Burns called. He said you can keep his face because even he doesn’t want it back.

(L)

(Thanks Hilary!)