Archive for the "Babies" Category

Half Past Seven Beckham

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
11
Jul

So the Beckhams have called their new baba gurl ‘Harper Seven Beckham’. Bless them, they’re not the brightest. Somebody should tell them it’s number FOUR! You have FOUR children. Those other children are only DOLLS, David! They’re NOT REAL!! …Thank God he’s so pretty.

Can’t imagine where else they might have got the number Seven… imaginative/cruel stuff right there. Now Harper, I can live with. Harper Beckham…yeah…nice! But Harper Seven, as B pointed out this morning, sounds like ‘Half past Seven’. Although with their penchant for naming children after the conditions in which they were concieved, maybe there’s something in that…?

Anyway, Howeye Harper Seven! Welcome along.

(L)

Viktoribob Beckidybob is knockedy up.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!
10
Jan

Apologies for the very long absence from the blog - we have both been rather distracted by other things…but very happy to know we were missed! Ah you guuuuuuys!!! xxx

Okay so let’s get started with the BIG news Victoria Beckham has got all pregnantaroonies! Hurrah! I’m oddly delighted with this news - I’m intrigued as to what another of their sprogs will look like as the other three are all so different looking - AND more so - what the hell will they call it! I mean, how do you follow Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz?

Name guess time! I’m thinking Luna for a girl and eh….Ramsay or Galaxy (after Becks’ LA team..) for a boy.

What do you lot think? Prizes for the winner! And you know what that means…Yes. We won’t steal your new Christmas puppy if you get it right! The rest of you…well…

Oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! and we hope you had a LOVELY CHRISTMAAAAS!

x(B)

Bad Lily Allen News

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in Babies, Oh no!, What's in GOSSIP!
2
Nov

God love Lily Allen and her partner Sam; she lost her baby at 6 months. This is her second miscarriage, after losing another child at 4 months with Chemical Brothers musician Ed Simmons in 2008. It’s a horrible thing to happen to any woman. Twice must be unbearable.

As she put it herself, say a little prayer, if it’s your thing.

(L) 

Baby for auld wan and young lad.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!
8
Jul

Sam Taylor-Wood and Aaron Johnson have had their baby - a little girl called Wylda Rae. This isn’t major news unless you’re a fan of Sam’s art/films or Aaron as the actor from one of the best films of ALL TIME! - ‘Kick-Ass’. Seriously -  brilliant. Anyways, the only reason it’s making de papers is because she’s 43 and he’s….20.

Well now, to everyone who just went ‘ooooh!’ - check out this interview with Sam Taylor-Wood. I think she pretty firmly puts all of us toyboy/cougar thinking peoples in our place. 

 ‘You know, this whole age obsession thing is funny. If I were going out with another woman, you wouldn’t ask me what advice I’d give to someone contemplating doing the same thing.

‘If I were in a mixed race relationship, you wouldn’t say, ‘So what’s it like?’ People in love don’t see gender, colour or religion. Or age. It’s about the other person, the one that you love and who loves you. You don’t think of them in terms of a label. You just go with your heart.

 ‘This, if anything, is what I find frustrating, the having to think of ways for people to accept our situation. You try and try and eventually you just think, ‘Oh, f*** it.’’

Well said Granny! (jooooking.)

(B)

Who’s your Daddy?

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
5
Jul

Cristiano Ronaldo has announced over Twitter (Obvs!) that he is now a father man. But how? And with whom? etc I hear you ask. Well it’s well you might ask! But you’ll be getting nothing out of the great orange one. Nothing I tells ye!

It is with great joy and emotion that I inform I have recently become father to a baby boy. As agreed with the baby’s mother, who prefers to have her identity kept confidential, my son will be under my exclusive guardianship. No further information will be provided on this subject and I request everyone to fully respect my right to privacy (and that of the child) at least on issues as personal as these are.

BIG GIANT HMMMMMMMMMMM………….

Surrogate? But why? Gay? Who cares? Financial transaction? Will the baby be orange? So many questions…..

 

YouTube Preview Image

***UPDATE***

He’s dead! :( They don’t know why exactly but lets face it, dude had two heads, he wasn’t exactly in the finest of health.

Ahhh….that sucks muchly.

(L)

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Feck it! Lets continue the .com theme! OMG.com/this is amazing! A little kitty catty born with TWO FACES!!!

Weird.net/stillcutethough!

(L)

KELLY PRESTON PREGNANT AT 47

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!
19
May

John Travolta’s wife Kelly Preston is pregnant again at the age of 47! A tad risky no? Let’s hope her scientolobobology gets her through this one OK. The couple lost their son Jet only 16 months ago to a rare disease called Kawasaki and their daughter Ella Bleu is now 10 but Kelly has made no secret of the fact that she wanted another child saying recently that she wasn’t pregnant but didn’t have any other movie roles lined up either….yeah that’s not cause you were trying to get pregnant love. Anyway, they made the announcement themselves on John’s official website:

“It’s impossible to keep a secret, especially one as wonderful as this. We want to be the first to share this great news with everyone that we are expecting a new addition to our family. Love, John, Kelly and Ella.”

If you’re the praying kind, do your thang. This sorta needs to work out.

(L)

We posted the below back in August when Lisa Scott Lee did a Demi - and now Chanelle Hayes has adopted the ‘you’re knocked up, we can’t think of anything else to do with you!’ pose that magazines seem to love. 

Can we stop it now? Here’s more from the interview with Chanelle:

On her bump: “My bump finally popped out about three weeks ago - I’m so relieved!  Before it appeared, no one believed me, but why would I make up a pregnancy? It’s not my fault I’ve got good stomach muscles! I used to be quite confident with my body, but I’m so nervous about doing this shoot! I’ve changed a lot,’ she says. ‘I’ve gone from a size 6/8 to a 10, and my bum is huge – it’s like I’m pregnant in my bum! I’ve got cellulite on my thighs and stretch marks on my boobs, but I’ve just got to remember it’s all in a good cause”…size 10?!…blatantly a heifer. 

On her new fella, Jade Goody’s widower Jack Tweed : ” I won’t be sleeping with him till after her baby is born.I don’t think it’s right to have sex with someone when you’re carrying another man’s child, so there won’t be any of that until after the baby arrives - if we’re still together,’ she giggles.’Jack is a really lovely guy, though, and we just get on well. There aren’t many guys who would be interested in getting together with a pregnant girl, but he’s taken it all in his stride.’ Sound.

On the photos of Jack in bed with a glamour girl on the night he was acquitted of rape: ‘He’s a 22-year-old lad and let’s face it, he’s not getting any [sex] from me, so it’s not that easy for him,’ Chanelle says. Wow.

(B)
Read more: Daily Mail

*sigh* Lisa Scott-Lee is the latest ‘celebrity’ to pose for some magazine in her buffers with her fertilised womb basket all out on show. 

I just don’t get it. I mean, Demi did it, and it was ground breaking and beautiful eckseckera, but essentially it was just a big swollen belly. She got away with it because it was ground breaking. Pioneering if you will. Now every time some celeb gets knocked up, they feel the need to take off all the clothes that are keeping their bumps warm and show them to us in the style of Demi! Why??? I just want to know why???

They say it’s a ‘celebration of their womanhood’ and all that jazzle, but why do you need to do that on a magazine cover? Keep it for yo’ family! I’m going to just assume they’re doing it for the money the magazines are paying, and if so, can I just say to the mgazine peoples, I don’t buy magazines to look at pregnant ladies. If I wanted to do that, I’d buy ‘Mother & Baby.’ or ‘You & Your Pregnancy’, or ‘Boxed Up’ or some shizzle. 

What are your thoughts peoples?

(B)

Demi : The “I am so beautiful and swollen with feminine superior powers that I refuse to make eye contact with the camera” pose. 

Mylene: The “I so pwetty! I so smug! Look at me! I’m hot and knocked up and STILL hot! And my hair is great!” pose.

Javine : The “They better airbrush the f*ck out of me, I’m not down for the natural look, it’s in my contract” pose.

Cindy : The “Yeah I’m actually ten months pregnant but I barely even noticed” pose. 

Britney : The “What are chirruns? why is I nekkid? Why dey sayin’ I got me a babeh in ma belleh? What’s goin’ on huh?” pose.

Naked Gun : The “The Future. Get those men f*ckers to carry the bambinos’ pose.

(B)

Hands up who saw this coming? You there - with your hands up - problem with lying have we…? Don’t lie. No…in fact, just stop talking. You can’t possibly have seen this coming unless you’re magical, and even if you say you ARE magical - I won’t believe you, so in conclusion, every word out of your mouth is a filthy durty lie.

Where was I, oh yeah- I for one, did not see a front cover with a new baby in Sandra Bullock’s future for a little bit - but can I get a Hell Yeah! from everyone in the room to the divorce proceedings? If you are, quite rightly, to cool to EVER say Hell Yeah!, then a little yay! will do.

Here’s more from People magazine. 

(B)

  ….In private, she was quietly keeping a joyful secret – his name is Louis, and he is her newborn son. 

“He’s just perfect, I can’t even describe him any other way,” Bullock reveals exclusively in the new issue of PEOPLE, announcing that she is the proud mother of Louis Bardo Bullock, a 3½-month-old boy, born in New Orleans. “It’s like he’s always been a part of our lives.” 

Bullock, 45, and husband Jesse James, 41, began the adoption process four years ago and brought Louis home in January but decided to keep the news to themselves until after the Oscars. Their close friends and family – including James’s children Sunny, 6, Jesse Jr., 12, and Chandler, 15 – were essential in keeping the adoption a secret. 

Then, just 10 days after the March 7 Oscars, Bullock and James separated following reports James had cheated. Bullock says she is now finalizing the adoption as a single parent. 

Behold!

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!
26
Mar

The clocks just stopped. Water turned back up into the taps. Birds started speaking Lebanese. It’s the twins! Hurrah! Yes, we know that Vivienne and Knox Jolie-Pitt are just babies, but they’re also magickle babies who hold the key to genetic perfection and holiness. That’s just a fact. 

..and eh…hello? Is Knox created entirely out of Brad’s DNA? Mini-me.com/spitting image.

(B)

Behold. A new dawn.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!
24
Feb

Hail, it is the babies. The holy twin trinity. The proof that Brangelina are not made of human D.N.A, but some form of miraculous genetic code that means they can only create biological deities. Is that an oxymoron? Well, so’s yer ma.

If their next bio-bambino doesn’t live up to the high standards of cuteness set by Vivi and Knox, and Shiloh, I hereby declare I’d be happy to raise it as my own, as even the most inferior of their genetic match would be all kinds of shiny and golden wonderment, and will be far cuter than the non-baby I’ll have if I’m not given one by a celebrity with photo opportunites and untainted awesomeness on their minds.

So, in conclusion. GIVE ME YOUR NEXT BABY!! I’ll swap you my special edition Rice Krispies wrap around shades circa 1989, which I collected in all three colours! good deal! 

(B)

Via Just Jared

 There’s something so unsettling about a photo of a 3 YEAR OLD clutching an Elmo toy whilst wearing silver heels! She’s not 11 years old and dying to be a teenager. She’s not even an 8 year old making her communion who talked her Mam in to letting her have ‘big girl shoes’ for the special day.

…SHE’S THREE!!!!

There is an interesting article in today’s Daily Mail about Noah Cyrus’ (Miley’s little sis) new clothing range. She’s ten. She’s got a clothing range. Seriously, why the face?? But this isn’t any old clothing range. As modeled by the tot herself above, it features some of your finest hooker boots, micro mini dresses, can-can skirts, leopard print vests, black lace stockings….all of which start from baby sizes. I dispair……

I’ve often walked through Next or New Look and balked at the black, ‘rock-chick’ clothing available for little girls. I mean COME ON!!! They’re only kiddies once! It got me thinking about what else is available in Ireland for the more fashion forward baby. My findings made my skin crawl….

New Look - Animal Print Faux Fur jacket / Sequined Tutu Skirt - Ages 2 +

Adams - Cropped Sequined Blazer ./ Mini Tulip Skirt - Age 4+

Tesco - Peplum Mini Dress / Body-con Body Suit - Ages 5+

Debenhams - Animal Print Jumper Dress / Black Lace Party Dress / Red Mini-Prom Dress - Ages 10+

 

Tell me I’m not being old fashioned here??!! Would you put this crap on your kid?

(L)

Kerry’s up the pole…A HOAX?!?

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
13
Jan

UPDATE!!!! Apparentellegedly it’s all a hoax Kerry says she is definitely not pregnant. Well…it got her back into the papers anyway, so that’s all that matters eh?

(B)

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I don’t know which is the worse….the fact that she’s about to bring another mad-looking child in to the world …or the thought that she and that YOKE still have the ride.

*shudder*

Kerry's Preggers...do you care?!

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(L)

Danniiii is up the duff!

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!
13
Jan

This begs a moral question - yay for Dannii Minogue, but kind of boo for Kerry Katona? My answer on a postcard is that it might have something to do with the lack of drug abuse and dodgy fella on Danniiiii’s part…

Yes indeedy, Danniiii Minogue is up the duff! Her and her ridey fellid Kris confirmed that the 38 year old is 12 weeks pregnant. I’m delighted - I’m all about the putting off babies ’til my late 30’s and any sound of anyone having one then makes me happy. So long as it’s all safe and healthy blah blah blah. I don’t want to be dancing on a table in Spy with a bump. Yeah I’m as shallow as that about my decision. 

* I withhold the right to get knocked up accidently and pretend that it’s what I always wanted… *

Anyway, back to the slebs : Dannii told her Twitter followers: ‘Woo hoo I’m going to be a mummy!’while Ridey Kris responded: ‘Woo hoo I’m going to be a daddy!’

Kylie tweeted: ‘Congratulations to my sister Dannii and her partner Kris on the happy news!!!! I am so excited to be an Aunty again!! WOW WOW WOW!! xxx’

A spokesman for the couple said: ‘Dannii and Kris are very excited and can’t wait to start their family in 2010.

Congratumawelldone!

 

(B)

Read more: Daily Mail

 

Ah come on!!

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Babies, What's in GOSSIP!
22
Dec

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen must spend a lot of time standing naked in front of a mirror, just looking at the perfection that Jebus/Charlton Heston has delivered upon them. They spend so much time doing this, and earning millions of dollars playing football/wearing pretty clothes, and a bit more of the mirror, that they JUST don’t have time to go to the cinema. Or read magazines about films. Or rent DVDs. Or read the original book of the film. Or watch movies on Sky. Just noooo time at all. Nope. Too busy being beautiful millionaires. 

Which PERFECTLY explains why they completely missed every single mention of ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ and called their new baby boy - BENJAMIN BRADY. First of all, he’s a little newborn, so he already looks like a wrinky old man. Confusing! Secondly, he’s going to be a rich RIDE when he’s older, but I can’t marry someone called Benjamin Brady, too many B’s all over the shop… Even though him marrying a much older ladylike me would perfectly fit in with the theme of his life. 

I swear, if his Nanny is African American, if he’s seen anywhere near Cate Blanchett, or if the captain of his ship turns into a humming bird, we’ll know that there is some weird Scientology shizzle going on with this whole deal. 

(B)