Archive for the "Under the Knife" Category

Ah here now!

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Under the Knife, What's in GOSSIP!
2
Dec

For a minute there the other day I thought to myself - y’know (B) you’re getting on in days now, maybe it’s time to go to a clinic and get some of that stuff injected in to your face and some of it peeled off etc.

Then I saw this photo of madonna, and am now considering making the above an official charidee. The JSNFWYG campaign. Just say NO to f*ckin wit yo grill. It may seem like a good idea right now - but what if you can’t stop and you end up with a face that resembles that lady in France who had a face transplant after her dog chewed off her visage. Not saying Madonna’s not looking well for her age, but she looked so much better when she was au naturale.

What do you think - would you ever go under the knife/injection?

(B)

Ah jayzis….

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in Under the Knife, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
29
Sep

 

There comes a point in plastic surgery where a person goes from Amanda Holden…to Jocelyn Wildenstein. Sharon Osbourne, may I introduce you that point? Sharon..that point…that point…Sharon. I think you guys will get on just fabulously. Or not, as the case may…is. Seriously, any more fillers and your eyes will sink completely into your head. The only saving grace there being that you won’t be able to see your own face. Small mercies, I guess.

(L)

Well….sorta yeah! I see what you’re doing there with your forehead Terri, but the bottom half of your face hasn’t moved properly since World War II. What you’re seeing here is Terri Hatcher’s attempt to prove that she hasn’t had surgery/implants on her face and that she is SO over Botox…hmmmm. But it’s not about her. She did this for us! Let us unite in thanks and praise!

“Thought about all those damn critics of my face. Love it or hate it, my face that is, no surgery, no implants… no matter what ‘they’ say. Decided I’d shoot myself in to reveal some truths about ‘beauty’ and hope it makes you all easier on yourself “

“Did I every toy with fillers or Botox over the years? Yes. Tell me does this look Botoxed to you? Yes I am alone in my bathroom naked in a towel on behalf of women everywhere trying to make a point. Women YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.”

“Just me wanting to teach that all those glam versus trash pictures of celebs are about LIGHTING. It’s not makeup, it’s not surgery or Botox”

So her somewhat misguided attempt to make us feel better about ourselves serves to re-assure women that it has nothing to do with botox…she’s just better than us naturally! Thanks Terri! And fair enough it’s worn off enough to let you move your face for a minute, but it only lasts 3 to 6 months and I don’t hear you saying you’ll never have it again?!

DISCLAIMER: I’m not even against Botox! Just BS!

(L)

Looking Good Katie.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Under the Knife, What's in GOSSIP!
1
Jul

Oh wow. I would LOVE some botox and plasitc surgery and veneers now! Katie has shown me how I can better myself - she’s like a Eucharistic Minister of a religion called Botoxology. You see, fadó fadó all the lands were covered in sheets of plastic. Then these aliens from the Planet Botox, with sliced pan for teeth, came to the earth and removed the plastic so the world could breathe. In order to store the plastic, they wrapped their faces in it. Now the followers of these aliens, Botoxologists, worship them by trying to look like them. Simple really and obvious when you stop to think about it. 

Here’s Katie Price on her hen night. Words, apart from the ones above, fail me. 

(B)

Has Katie Price ruined her face?

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Tara Reid gets ‘fixed’

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Under the Knife, What's in GOSSIP!
1
Jun

Tara Reid - the star of such movies as ‘American Pie’ and…

Anyway. She unveiled her ‘new’ body following corrective surgery on her botched liposuction from a few years ago. My question is - she was so tiny - who gave her liposuction in the first place?!??! There should be some standards introduced in to this whole plastic surgery thing - number one being if you’re ALREADY F*CKING TINY - YOU CAN’T HAVE LIPO!!!

Speaking of bad surgery - anyone watching the new Hills and The City on MTV? What did you think? I have to say - The Hills is beating The City hands down on the Dramz, but oh man, Olivia’s clothes are SO pwetty. Share!

(B)

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The Daily Mail are giving Amanda Holden awful jip for her alleged dodgy lip-job (try saying that ten times fast) today. She does look a bit joker-esque at certain angles I guess, but they’ve also taken the opportunity to chastise her use of Botox while they’re at it, coz they’re sound like that as you know. The Britain’s got Talent judge has openly admitted to using the stuff, but has fervently denied any lip-injecting collagen action. I happen to know that two little jabs of Botox OVER the lip area turns your lips out enough to plump them without ever having to touch your actual lips, so the jury is well out for me on whether she’s had no help there but aaaaaaaanyway……. I digress. It got me thinking! Does Amanda look well to you? Or do you just see a big shiny Botox face when you look at her? Is it working for her and all the countless other smooth-faced celebs that have gone for the jab? Who’s gone too far? Would you try it? Have you tried it? Will you try it if you need it a bit later on?

Discuss!

….and click below for polls….

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Your feelgood moment.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Under the Knife, What's in GOSSIP!
12
Apr

Yes - feelgood, alloneword. Why? Well - feelgood that you didn’t earn a bucket load of money on a reality tv show where you told people your best friend had made a sex tape then married a horrible person who everyone hated and with the monies made doing those shallow thing you go buy yourself a new you made entirely out of plastic. 

Yes - for her problems and all that, but seriously, I’d rather be broke and me than look like I’m ACTUALLY melting in the sunshine. 

Oh Heidi - where did it all go wrong - does the all begin with an ‘S’, end in an ‘R’ and have pence in the middle?

(B)

Please. No. I do not expect to see Heidi in a serious movie. I expect to see her in a smutty movie called ‘Two Hills And A LadyGarden”,  shot by her own husband and featuring a Brody AND Justin Bobby AND Spencer AD Charley lookalikes - ALL at the one time. Ick. 

But oh no - se wants to be taken for serious like. Speaking about the last series of ‘The Hills’:

 

“I’m so excited The Hills is finally over and I can now become a full time motion picture actress, There is no better training [for an actor] than being in front of the cameras 24-7.”

After working with Oscar-winner Ron Howard on a short film project and then working for days with the comedic genius director Dennis Dugan and his team of brilliant comedy visionaries at Happy Madison on Just Go With It starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston, I have been able to truly find what makes me the happiest in life. Getting to truly show the world my creative ability … while playing … different characters.”

She has also written a scrip that restores my faith in her position in my world:

“I am making the first 3-D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a small beach town and I save the day with my 3-D boobs,” Montag says. “I’ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor!”

“I’m now finally free to start my career and my new life as female mogul in Hollywood!”

Indeed. Good luck with that.

(B)

Health warning.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Under the Knife, What's in GOSSIP!
1
Mar

Courtney Love - the new spokeswhore for ‘Don’t Have Plastic Surgery Or You May End Up Looking Like A Ball O’ Marla.’

(B)

*Marla - Fadó fadó, us Irish had our own language before the Brits took it away.. for the non-Irish, it means plasticine.

** Some people swear it’s Marla, Mala, or Mála. Fight amongst yourselves.

Oh no she di’unnt!

Posted by: Stylebitch (L) in Under the Knife, What's in GOSSIP!, gossip
25
Jan

There’s only two things that make your lips swell up like this and Cheryl Cole’s deffo recently done one of them. Not according to her people though, who’s only comment was.. ”She has definitely not!” They didn’t specify what she has ‘definitely not’ done though did they?! They could have meant, “She has definitely not tap-danced naked on a piano.”

…..Or “She has definitely not married a straight man.”

(L)

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Oh. Dear. God. What has she DONE???!!!! And she’s still only 23! Seriously, Pete Burns called. He said you can keep his face because even he doesn’t want it back.

(L)

(Thanks Hilary!)

BEFORE

AFTER

UPDATE **** Scanned pages from People magazine, courtesy of Oh No They Didn’t… Holy suffering baby cowballs. Spencer says ‘no-one wants to see someone they love suffer like this’ after all of her procedures. Eh…don’t get unneccessary surgery maybe? She says she’s ‘just starting’…this is so all kinds of worng and dysmorphic, but quite entertaining - which is the most important thing.*

*Not really - surgeons of the world, learn to say no!

(B)

********

 Heidi Montag let People Magazine follow her (read: ‘Pay for her’) as she had 10 plastic surgery procedures carried out in one day. Here’s the list of what she got did:

1. Nose job revision

2. Chin reduction

3. Mini brow lift

4. Botox (forehead and frown area)

5. Fat injections in cheeks, nasolabial folds and lips

6. Neck liposuction

7. Ears pinned back

8. Liposuction on waist, hips and inner and outer thighs,

9. Buttock augmentation

10. Breast augmentation revision

 

Here’s what she SHOULD have had done…..

1. Husbandectomy

2. ‘Clue’ injections

3. Mouth sowed shut

4. Vocal Chords removed to avoid the risk of a ‘humming’ album.

(L)

brilliant.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Under the Knife, Watch This!, What's in STUFF!
15
Jan

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I want to be just as crazy when I’m 57. I think it’s quite inspirational, when you’ve been alive all those years, you run out of style ideas, so why not go mad and adopt an illustrated persona! Genius! In fact, I’m going to get a whole heap of surgery to look just like my favourite cartoon character - Danger Mouse.

(B)

Madonna. Jaysis. Holy God.

Posted by: Stylebitch (B) in Under the Knife, What's in GOSSIP!
8
Dec

Not content with scoring a lovely young ride, Madonna is filling her life with youth by filling her face with plastic. I know this is part shocking angle, but JAYSIS this photo is a bit scary! She looks like she’s constructed entirely from ping pong balls!

(B)

So, there were rumours that Amy had a little boob job. Well, you can chalk that rumour up and sing it from a large height, because she’s shown us those new round plastic puppies in all their glory. I cannot express how much I detest fake boobies. Two round orbs drifing apart on a new sea of plastic fleshness…no fankz.

What do you lot think of her new boobalage? Love or loathe?

(B)

Rate or Slate Amy's boobies

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